Logiciel

·        
Blue
Screen of Death no longer blue; instead, matches your chosen Vista desktop
theme.

·        
Windows
Vista Firewall now increases security over previous Windows Firewalls by sternly
berating hackers entering a Vista system with advanced reverse-psychology
messages.

·        
To
prevent piracy of Vista, it will not be released in
Russia.

·        
Vista
Ultimate install disks contain samples of Gates' DNA in the mixed into the ink
used to print the labels.

·        
As a
result of pressure from the recording industry, Vista will not support
soundcards or optical drives.

·        
Handy
KeyLog functions records every keystroke by a user and sends it via 8-bit
encryption to a central Microsoft server as a backup
feature.

·        
Vista
Safe Mode is Windows 98.

·        
Hitting
F1 now launches the Google homepage in Internet Explorer.

·        
New
Microsoft keyboards and other peripherals soon to be released will combine the
Alt, Del and Ctrl keys into one handy hotkey.

·        
To ensure
users get maximum value from their hardware, Vista will now consume 100% of
system resources, even while idling.

·        
Clippy
has been replaced with a talking buttplug.

·        
Text-to-Speech function now voiced
by Douglas Rain.

·        
Cute
caricature of Steve Balmer with speech bubble reading "PWNED!" greets every user
upon login.

·        
Handy "My
Trojans" folder added to all users "My Documents" folder.

·        
EULA
written in Swahili.

·        
Stemming
from criticism that not all users of a computer were granted Administrator
status in Windows XP, Vista now grants no users Administrator
status.

·        
Short
movie of Bill Gates climaxing in his pants plays upon successful installation of
Vista, in DVD quality with THX sound.

·        
Some
languages other than US English supported.

·        
All
Seeing Eye replaces old Windows logo.

·        
New
RIAA-approved music piracy countermeasure utilises the users address information
to guide a MCSE certified technician to your house to microwave all your
CD's.

·        
"SYSTEM"
folder icon now moves randomly around the monitor, just out of reach of the
user's cursor.

·        
Third-party software no longer
supported.

·        
Office
2007's thesaurus lists "feature" as a synonym of "bug."

·        
Similarities to OSX are part of a
rich tradition of ripping off Apple